During all these years, I've couldn’t stop thinking about Jane. She’s a beautiful girl, smart, so nice, always surrounded by friends. Everybody loves her, and I, as it’s obvious, so do I. When we met, I fell hopelessly in love with her. She’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen until that moment and I, by my side, was a completely common person. With not too much physical attractiveness, but I couldn’t call myself somebody unpleasant to the eye, thin, with glasses and my greatest virtue, would probably be my ability to study. However, she and I lived in completely opposite worlds. She was always with a lot of people around her while I used to be completely alone always.
She always was so kind, so nice with me, even when everyone in the world was moving away from me, she always had a kind word, a smile and a little of time to talk, whether it was from studies or anything else. I can’t say that we were close friends, but definitely, our relation was better than with most people.
As time went by, I became more and more serious about trying to approach her in a different way, and with that, I decided to take certain steps to make myself look more attractive and interesting. I started to workout, to correct as many aspects of myself as I could, to try to be more socially attractive, little by little, and so, I managed to start relating with more people.
Soon after I started, I could see her looking at me out of the corner of her eye, and smile as I noticed it, then turn her head and go about her business, as if it hadn’t happened, but I know, she was looking at me. I’m sure of it.
Those looks continued for a long time, in fact, the more people were surrounding me, and the better shape I got, I could feel and notice her eyes over me more and more. I had no doubt, she was looking at me.
Damn, I was so in love with her and I was sure she was noticing me too. I knew it. Damn I knew it! She was constantly looking at me, out of the corner of her eye, and smiling every time I looked her way. It could be no mistake; she could tell without a doubt I was trying to win her over.
However, I wasn’t brave enough to take the first step. She being so perfect, so beautiful, seemed to be too much for me, even though I knew she was looking at me. And that terrified me. I knew that even though she would have feelings for me, if she rejected me, it would be the end for me, and that idea held me back all this time.
But she kept looking at me. I’m sure of it. She would always smile after she did, only when she knew I had looked her way, and nothing would change my mind, so, at the end of senior year, when it would be prom, I decided I would take the big step. I knew she was looking at me, I knew it, and clinging to that idea, I approached her to ask her to go to prom with me. Her refusal was harsher than I expected. I didn’t know what to do, but truth be told, I wouldn’t give up like that. She was looking at me, I knew that. And I knew that she hadn’t really closed me off from the possibilities. Her words had been very clear about that.
So, I started to prepare everything for that day. I got the things I needed to get close again. I wasn’t going to waste that opportunity. So, when I showed up at the prom dance, approached her, and showed her the explosives I had on me, her face turned into a such awe that I can only think of how happy she was I make her wish come true. The words she used when she rejected me were “Not in this life”, so well, she made It clear to me that in order to have a chance with her, just had to speed up the passage from this life to the next, it was so obvious, wasn’t it? Just before blowing it all up, I could see it... She was looking at me. I knew it! She was looking at me!