I remember to have this problem called “Tinnitus” since at least ten years ago. It appeared suddenly. Is a constant and annoying sound, but it doesn’t cause any real injure or something like that, more than those hassles. In fact, with the flow of time is has gotten less annoying. At the beginning, the first days of noticing it, I used not to hear only that idle engine noise but voices too, sometimes cries. I used to hear my name between cries but, as much as I looked for an origin, I never found it, that’s why I supposed that it could be part of the same problem. Even I arrived to the extreme of taking psychiatric tests to discard any kind of mental illness which it can come from, but nothing was founded, it just kept being the same. Days and weeks, months and years happened and I got accustomed to that background noise feeling, but the voices eventually vanished.
Last year I heard them only one time, for my birthday date, together with a sad sigh, I can say, but the rest of the time, it has been only that endless annoying noise, since about two weeks ago, when suddenly, I've heard them again, with more cries this time, and some new voices, that seems to keep a talk together. The only thing I could understand, besides my name, has been “disconnect”. I don’t know what it would mean, but is not like I have any way to find it out. Yesterday I heard another talk again. On it I could understand “tomorrow” and “it will be the best”. I couldn’t get anything more, but sounds like those voices were planning something.
I kept the rest of the day with my stuff, you know, the job, the homework, my hobbies, regular things, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what would be next, because this time, it seemed like a story was being spun between those voices I hear together with that unstoppable noise. Soon, the night arrived. I slept a bit unquiet, but the day of today finally arrived and I'll be able to hear what those voices plot again. The first was hear a crying, a little bit suffocated, with sighs once in a while, after I could understand the words “sign” and “artificial”, and finally, that sightly voice said while crying “Good bye honey, I love you”. Immediately, some knocks as they were heels hit my eardrums, while another voice said “it would take a couple minutes to die”. Those words sent a shiver down my spine. ¿Maybe those voices were planning to kill somebody? But if that was true, ¿Were, at least, those voices real, or were they product of my imagination? I couldn’t have an answer, so, my anxiety rised up to very high levels, I hyperventilated a bit but put myself together and decided to keep on hearing. In that moment, those heel knocks stopped and then, as anything of that had never existed, all the noise around stopped, ceased to exist, not only that but with that noise, all the sounds around stopped, every noise that surrounded me vanished with it. I couldn’t hear my heartbeats even, nothing. Suddenly, the feeling of drowning invaded me, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn't move, I wanted to scream, but my throat wasn’t able to made any sound, the whole world had been muted and me too and I got involved into something like a muted eternity. Then, I heard a knock, a heartbeat, from my insides. One time first, then another and another one. But the drowning feeling keeps on and then, without understanding what was going on, I woke up. My wife, looking aside of the bed, was crying bereaved, while the doctor was holding on his hand some paper with the words “disconnection” and “euthanasia” on it. To the other side, a nurse with a little but noisy heel shoes looked me totally puzzled, while the doctor and my wife tried to assimilate what ‘s happened. And me too.
While a few minutes I was confused, but bit to bit I could understand what was going on. I was ten years into a coma after a car accident, and finally, by not presenting any recover symptoms into a so long time, my wife decided it was time to let me rest in peace. Was then when, three and half minutes passed from the vital support disconnection I came back to me. I don’t know if is for everything I had to understand so suddenly or because my body wasn’t in a good shape after that much time into a coma, but I started to difficultly breath. When he noticed up, the doctor ordered to the nurse to connect the ventilator again. When it turned on, a familiar noise came back to my ears, the Tinnitus